Change with Ariane de Bonvoisin
Ariana de Bonvoisin the founder of first30days.com has it right. . . change is our only guaranteed constant in our lives.
I can attest to that! I recently moved to Quebec, and it has been like moving to another country! So many differences from Toronto like the language, customs, traditions, driving and more! Also, I left behind my closest friends and my family too! It is so new for me. The most amount of time I ever spent in Quebec was a week! Now I live here 24/7.
It has not been easy. It can feel lonely and tough. Although I have the most amazing husband, I know that it is difficult for me to adapt to the myriad of differences here in Quebec. . . especially the language.
French has never resonated with me. It has always felt like I am speaking backwards! I know I am not the only one. When I was chatting with my grandma earlier in the month, she made the same identification and we laughed.
In school, I always struggled with French grammar. My French never blossomed, and I always felt guilty about it. But if I am to live my best life, I know that I have to venture off into a new world despite its challenges. My resistance to change (learning the language) is due to my own fears, insecurities and anxieties from my past experiences with the French language.
Resistance can turn into feelings of being paralyzed. My whole identity is tangled up with language, and being unable to communicate with it has been one of the most isolating experiences.
Thoughts that I have failed began to circulate in my mind. It was truly painful. It was like a veil fell off, and I began to feel sad, and a defeated. I knew that I had to identify what thought I was thinking instead of just feeling the feelings.
So, I took out a blank cue card and wrote out The Model acronyms: CTFAR. Then I wrote out the thought that was pervasive in my mind and then filled in the rest.
I let it set in. I call this my observation period. Teary-eyed I told my husband about how difficult the change has been for me. He listened to me with compassion and understanding.
This thought appeared throughout my day and I was astonished. Knowing that this thought would not benefit my ability to move forward, I decided to revisit The Model with a new empowering thought.
You see, change is our only constant, and in change we can feel uncomfortable. But sometimes we can only control our beliefs surrounding the change, not the change itself.
Kaeisha Gagnon, M.Ed, B.Ed, B.A | Life Coach